我又將逃往何方

最近在看張煒的《我又將逃往何方》，文字寫得很美，也找到很多讓我共鳴的句子。

「時至今天，似乎更沒有人願意重視知覺的奧秘。人彷彿除了接受再沒有選擇。」

「他穿越了憤懣，這才有了痴情。愛一種職業、一朵花、一個人，愛的是具體的東西；愛一份感覺、一個意願、一片土地、一種狀態，愛的是抽象的東西。只要重頭走過來，只要愛得真摯，就會痴迷。迷了心竅，就有了境界。」

「臆想的極限超越之後，就是實實在在的觸摸了。」

「人需要一個遙遠的光點，像渺渺星斗。我走向它，節衣縮食，收心歛性。願冥冥中的手為我開啟智門。比起我的目標，我追趕的修行，我顯得多麼卑微。蒼白無力，瑣屑庸懶，經不住內省。就為了精神上的成長，讓誠實和樸素、讓那份好德行，永遠也不要離我，讓勇敢和正義變得愈加具體的清晰。那樣，漫長的消磨和無聲的侵蝕我也能夠陪伴。」

書本說的是作者對野地（亦即是我們口中的大自然）的熱愛。
野地就是他的信仰，他的太陽。

No Distance Left To Run

No Distance Left to Run is one of my all time favourites. Just love the melody and the way that Damon sings. Sometimes, I'm, in a way, tided to melancholic melodies. I feel good about it, that's strange.

I finally got the documentary dvd of Blur, which also called No Distance Left to Run. I watched it twice in two days. I'm happy to see the four members getting back together again. Just as what Damon said, "all that rubbish from both sides seemed to have evaporated" and "all I can hear is the echoes of all the times we've played in the past. It's like going back to where you were born or something. It felt like that streets that you haven't walked for ages, triggering... bizarre flashes of forgotten moments."

It is amazing going back all these years. I really like quite a lot of their quotes. Kind of touched and amused by what they said. I spent some time in recording some of their quotes.



[the early days]
alex: He (graham) was getting out of his parents' car holding a guitar.

graham: My gosh, what an amazingly confident performer (damon). Gosh, what a show off.

damon: Your (graham's) shoes aren't as good as mine, mine are the proper kind.

damon: He (graham) was much more mild, whereas I just seemed to irritate a lot of people.


[the birth of BritPop]
To me, Damon's idea of British Pop is cool. Blur did raise a lot of attention for British music under the "dominance" of American culture at that time. I see this act as a kind of identity recognition process. Their songs really speak a lot about modern life.

damon: So much of our culture is sort of American culture now, and it would be... I think it's important to make a connection.

damon: Nirvana and that whole kind of disgusting movement that came over from America. I mean, Nirvana were not disgusting... but in their wake was just the most awful shit.

dave: British popular culture was being pushed aside in exchange for American.

alex: Britpop was 100% Damon Albarn's idea.

damon: But they (Oasis) put this sheen on it, and waved flags and called it Britpop.


[blur and oasis]
As what Graham said, the battle of the two bands was actually cheap. But somehow, the resentments between Damon and Noel were just too hilarious for audience to follow.

damon: If someone saw me from a house, they'd open the window and put on Oasis... we kind of seemed to manoeuvre ourselves into a position where everyone hates us, from really everybody loving us. And it's at that point that we're at our best, I think.

graham: I just found it very cheap, the whole attention that was put on it. That sort of focus, that sort of "Battle of Britpop". Working-class northerners and shandy-drinking Southerners, you know, battle it out for the number one slot. Come on, do us a favour. I love the idea of a number one, but I just wanted a really decent number one, without all the BS, you know, I want a number one that bands had when I was a teenager.

damon (years ago): I think this (award) should have been shared with Oasis.
damon (now): Oh God. What did I do that for?


[graham and damon]
Maybe it's really hard for 2 talented people to stay in the same group for a long time. Seems like it's the inevitable rule for bands. And I could understand why Graham felt so out of place at that time. I could feel his tiredness and helplessness. It might sound silly that Graham hid from Damon and Alex in the London Zoo. But, yes, cos this could be so weird and that reaction was actually normal...

graham: No Distance... it became apparent when we were listening to the lyrics of that. And again, it was a reminder at that point for me that Damon wasn't just a ruthless careerist maniac, you know, who had no feelings. He was actually flesh and blood and was hurting quite a lot, and, yeah... that sort of thing makes me fall in love with him all over again, in a way. "Crikey. He is actually like me, he just does it in a different way."

damon: I can't quite believe what an important song (Tender) that is, now, you know?

graham: It's a very difficult thing to balance. How to keep yourself in a reasonable state of mind, and still... and still do the work.

graham: There was a lot of resentfulness about the fact that I'd... And a lot of miscommunication, I think, about why I'd gone into the Priory, really. I think the group were under the impression, really, that I was being deliberately destructive, but I wasn't, I really didn't have any choice.

graham: It's like your girlfriend saying, "Look, I'm not chucking you, but I don't want to see you for a bit, and, you know..."

damon: Well, from my perspective, young man, not only did I not want to do this, but I'm doing it because I felt the commitment to us, because, you know, we're like brothers, but also, you just haven't turned up. And you didn't even tell anyone. Well, you know what? I really have had enough.

alex: Think Tank is a good record, but it wasn't the same live without Graham, and it wasn't the same dynamic.


[indie vs pop?]
alex: We're not gonna spend ages and ages... doing lots and lots of these (TV ads). Cos it's soul-destroying.

alex: Pop stardom wasn't the thing we were after.

dave: Everything about indie disappeared and indie became the new pop music.

graham: It was quite a relief that British music was suddenly being appreciated again.

graham: I didn't like being called Britpop. Or Pop, or Brit. Or PopBrit. For me, Blur is an Indie band, really.

critics: They (blur) started off as a reasonable indie band. They've become a huge teenybop band. The reverse to what the Beatles did.

graham: I think I'm in a kind of mid-life... mid pop-life crisis. Pop makes me very sick. I wrote Damon a letter, something about the music and everything being... getting a bit, "We're tired, we need a rest". I wanna make music that scares people again.

damon: It wasn't a very nice night, because Graham... He tried to jump out of a window at one fucking point.
graham: I just thought that me doing that would remind a lot of these people that there was sort of human beings involved, and it wasn't just business and backslapping.


[after all these years]
damon: purely because I'd just seen the world from many perspectives and realised that, you know, this little island is, in fact, a little island in the northern hemisphere.

graham: music is a big part of the healing process.

alex: what did you say? "we've become...?"
journalist: kind of like more of a collection of evolved individuals
alex: ...??? y-e-a-h

alex: I didn't feel any kind of bitterness towards anybody.

graham: I missed Damon quite a lot. But I started to miss the side of him that made me laugh.

graham: I knew it would make me happy to get my friends back and everything, but I really was grinning from ear to ear for days and days, it was absolutely brilliant.

damon: it didn't feel like work, it felt like play. It felt like it did at the very beginning.

graham: I think Damon is possibly closer now to when I first met him. I think we all are. I feel almost a lot more innocent now that I did during my 20s, when I just was feeling so much resentfulness and cynicism. I feel a lot more pre-mid-'90s these days.

alex: We've made mistakes, like everybody else has made. And I just wanted to show the best of Blur.

damon: At the end of the day, what we have done, which so many bands who split up didn't do, is we managed to come back, intact, and do the best gigs we've ever done. And, you know, that, for me, is what is different about us, the fact that we did that, I think is a testament to our original friendship. That was my reason for doing it in the first place.



I think this is a must-watch for all the Blur fans.

追著那片綠和藍就對了！

計劃了好一段時間
要到開平自遊行
其實好幾年前已看過開平碉樓和稻田的相片
當時已經被深深吸引著
因為身為城巿人的我
一直很嚮往鄉郊寧靜的氛圍

終於一行四人在五月十五日的清晨出發
我們相約一起吃了超早的早餐
然後坐了四個小時的車
十二時多便抵達開平

到埗的時候居然下大雨
心情好忐忑
但的士司機卻說自力村那邊不會下雨
我當時也不太相信

到酒店放下一些行李便出發到自力村
天色出乎意料的放晴了
沿途看見鄉郊的風景
心情好興奮
不停喊著「草呀！牛呀！」
我是「大香(香港的香)里」
大概香港人都沒什麼機會看到吧...



沿路走進自力村
已看到一大片綠油油的稻田
但我總是改不了口
見到綠色的東西就說是草... XD

在碉樓走著
想像著人們以前生活的模樣
為了防盜賊搶略
感覺碉樓都有點像監獄
但建築的確很有特色



在自力村逗留了好一段時間
還拍了很多照片
當中少不了許多無聊的連拍

之後坐車到了立園走了一圈
好厲害的人造園林
荷花池裡還沒有荷花

到太陽差不多要下山的時候
我們便沿路找公車回巿中心吃晚飯
晚上吃甜品又喝菠蘿啤
看了 n 年前的青春電影



翌日吃過早餐就坐公車
出發到赤坎
那裡的建築很古舊
有一種頹敗的美
赤坎古街更是許多電影和電視劇取景的地方
王家衛也正在影城拍一代宗師



在公路上走著
太陽就在頭頂
回想起來真的好熱血
怎麼不怕中暑? XD
但我真的覺得好酷
所謂柳暗花明又一村
還給我找到一大塊綠油油的稻田
我找到了！
OH YEAH！



好享受在那片廣闊的天空下流連
那裡看的天空是完完整整的好遼闊
沒有任何障礙物
我在想住城巿的人
眼光會不會因此反而更狹窄?
風吹過稻田那沙沙聲好動聽
稻田上還有許多小蜻蜓緩緩在飛
這些影像對我來說都是電影裡不真實的場景
突然都一一在眼前出現



這次旅行很開心
當然要謝謝天公賜我這麼美好的天氣
是我們渴望已久的大藍天
和同行的朋友們
一起傻傻的流浪
一起熱熱的流汗
感覺真好

鄉郊的人們生活很簡單
他們很善良隨和
臉上會帶一點笑容
反觀城巿的人們
我們擁有很多東西
同時也不斷追求更多東西
但可能卻越來越迷失

生活是什麼？
簡簡單單的生活其實是一種福氣
在裡頭也許會找到那一點點其實找尋了很久的意義

吸收了鄉土的精華
人也份外淵明

另外之前自己把 lc-a 修了一下
照片放出來了
都沒有問題
要再說 OH YEAH!!!

靈光

在找新工作之際
不免有點緊張和壓力
但也蠻享受一般朝九晚七上班族
享受不到的悠閒
早上可以去晨跑
然後安然吃個早餐
可以讀讀書
可以聽聽歌
可以跟小狗玩
喜歡就彈一下吉他
到街上逛也沒那麼多人
就連吸一口氣
也彷彿較有靈氣

昨天去 hmv 逛的時候
買了兩張 cd
有 jimi hendrix 和 nouvelle vague

今天坐巴士的時候望著天
聽著 jimi hendrix 的歌聲和吉他聲
感覺音符像一縷縷煙
若緩若快的往天空飄去
煙霧彌漫裡
有令人暈眩的迷幻



cd 封面平常看來沒什麼特別
但在燈光下
倒看到特別效果
是迷幻的靈光

it's written?!

你相信以下句子嗎？

it's written.

某程度上我認為答案時移世逆
想相信或說服自己相信的時候答案是 yes
不相信和不認命的時候答案是 no

那天

那天
我見證著
那水滴墜下的
那一剎
彷彿聽到水滴的聲音



那天
我說要去這裡
看日落
我要找
一個入口


那天
生日
五時五十五分
在彩虹路上走著
聽著聽見了嗎？

五五．向前

又一個年頭
發現也許有很多東西變了
但有些東西好像不會變
家人和朋人

雖然再也不是十八廿二
但仍想起林一峰的十九
少爺占填的詞

「也許有天　一切都要變　身邊一切都要變
你我不見　總會發現　你在我背面　常在我心裡面」

「告別十九歲　世界總要我面對」

其實有很多東西「從未變」

在我缺乏信心的時候
他們總給予我支持和鼓勵
我愛他們！
我會努力向前走的